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Imagine you have an itch on your nose and you're a sentient train

I've been told this is considered a delicacy in a far off land. Odd texture but quite delicious!

So what it's rude to stare at people and point at them and say they aren't real now?

My phone is showing me things ...

*Picture of my bookshelf with one book on it* Wow...are you thinking of my cock now or what?

The clout chasing urge to post your influencer friend on main

Me and all my friends are just like Julia Fox <3

I have a sugar mama who only sends me money in the form of fake graphic design commissions

Farming likes

She say do you love me I tell her only partly I only love that moon sand, floam, and fushigi

Workout

these dumbasses are renting out living rooms for $1000

We are actually so fucked

U so spicy ima Sriracha boy 🌶️

Mrs. Rachel isn't "brainwashing" my son, she actually spent years studying baby psychology to formulate a voice that distracts and calms him instantly and when I turn it off the crying is endless. What she does for us is a gift.

They're putting me in shen yun they said I don't have a choice

Just saw a waymo driving through the rain with its windows rolled down

Recently my coworker has been drinking piss out of an Electrolit bottle

If you can't tip your nurse you shouldn't be going to the hospital