Okay guys jokes over whens halsey 🌸 gonna release this full length punk rock record so I don’t have to keep replaying that same 30 seconds of forget me too

Handy tip: If you want to know what real pain feels like, then try chewing an airwaves whilst wearing a mask, allowing all the menthol goodness to flow freely into your eyes.

Cya l8er trump you imbecilic mega nonce 👋🏼🥳

I am missing the rock and/or roll a whole bunch today.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

A genuinely cant believe this is real

If anyone wants to know how lockdown 3.0 is going for me, I’m currently in the middle of jigsaw puzzle number five and I can’t remember a day this year where I haven’t had the Wii menu music stuck in my head.

No one: Me after eating: mm I need something sweet

Roger Daltrey is a fucking bellend.

“he’s doing the best he can” is what you say about a child who’s shit at football, not a prime minister with a 100k death toll

Band people: I miss going on tour. The Tour:

My gf just referred to the film ‘The Human Centipede’ as “The Very Hungry Caterpillar or whatever it’s called...” 😅

I do my hair toss Check my nails Baby how you feelin'? Ach I'm okay, thanks, feeling a bit fed up but I think everybody is. You up to much this weekend? A takeaway? About the only thing to look forward to at the moment haha

It’s more effort to march through central London for 7hrs on a Saturday than pop a mask on for 10mins when you nip into Tesco.

SLAM. DUNK. WAS. A. FUCKING. BLAST. (thanks for still caring ily all ❤️)

You might have seen some bus content from the least bus band in the world this weekend. Here’s some more; our driver Dave used to deliver Mashed Potato to Baghdad & his ringtone was legitimately the Teletubbies theme tune. A man in control of our lives.