New Year’s Eve is the type of the night where “I’m formal but I’m here to party” really rings true

Barstool on the leading edge of news

Well this is a crazy turn of events

Start of my parents becoming old. They just called going to Stop&Shop together a date.

We are so fucking BACK

I absolutely fucking hate tourists in Newport #liberatenewport

Just folded a fitted sheet, feeling like an adult

No way China didn’t hack instagram

As a fake gritty guy I pride myself on my ability to make a good fireplace fire

Random dude complaining about how a vending machine is out of Mountain Dew is actually what I needed this morning

What a day for sports…Sox opening day and Friday of the Masters. Once in a lifetime right here

Am I the smartest man in the world?The answer to that question would be yes…

Honestly the whole royal family thing is just fucking weird. Max White your country needs some fixing.

Being stuck behind a school bus is like traveling from purgatory to hell

Tried to gamble with my landlord last night. Mark if your seeing this, I will not be paying next months rent

Celebrated Ash Wednesday with a win in trivia tonight

I think I would rather drink a beer with anyone else before I drank one with an Ivy League prick

Major respect to @rob_thompson03 for getting impaled by a nail earlier and still pulling up to drink

It’s official I’m out of shape. No questions at this time.

Old folks and children have no business getting on flights these days.