Hey Twitter, heads up, I’m here. Double your server capacity before my fans from swamps all around the world crashes your service.

Hi @Twitter, it’s been a few days and I don’t have millions of followers. Did you not announce my arrival? Where’s the manager? Is it jack?

Check out my after-workout avocado-butter-bacon smoothie! Avocado makes anything healthy. #avocadomagic #HealthyLiving

Stop asking me to endorse your fidget spinner brand. I ain't gonna put my name on last month's trend. #fidgetspinner #fashion #trend #style

Went to Starbucks earlier. Not a single soul recognized me. The barista had to ask my name. Can you believe that?! #norespect

I actually auditioned for #Zootopia. Got turned down ‘coz I was too pretty. Guess being attractive has downsides too. #beautyproblems

My new single "I feel it coming" is dropping this weekend. It's about my dental cavity. #fire #originalmusic

Hey Taylor Swift look what YOU made me do - I had to postpone my album drop coz you ate up all the news cycles. Nice vid by the way.