Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile
Mike

@mikeva999

Beach lover. Try to stay fit without being a gym rat. Enjoy movies, wine, watching sports and having fun in life. 🌈🏖

ID: 1909543988

calendar_today26-09-2013 23:45:20

17,17K Tweet

4,4K Takipçi

5,5K Takip Edilen

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Good Morning Twitter, I just remembered I should get my flu shot this month. Can someone remind me, is this the one that will give me Autism or is it the Bubonic Plague? 🙄

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Isn't the Presidential Medal of Freedom supposed to be the highest civilian award given to someone for their exemplary contributions to the United States? Just checking 🤔.

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My math isn't working correctly and I'm hangry. So, if you'd like to get your head bitten off, feel free to bother me.

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Please like me. I need some support on this. Because of GOP govt cutbacks, my job got reduced, I lost my home, I lost my health (seriously), and I'm about to buy a home that's worth <50% of where I came from. I'm scared shitless but I don't have a lot of options. 😢

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

OK, I'll ask the obvious question. I love little kitties too. But jeez, what the heck does her home smell like? And that sweater...gross. 😱

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I think the whole of Congress should be locked in a room and forced to stay there until things like this gets resolved. Like the Cardinals have to do to elect a Pope.

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Evidently the key to life for both straights who want to procreate and gays is to date a 65 year old man. Is RFK Jr on Tylenol again?

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

So, what did we learn today. The new U.S. justice system...if you commit a crime, don't sweat it, just kiss the ass of King POTUS and you're in the clear.

So, what did we learn today.
The new U.S. justice system...if you commit a crime, don't sweat it, just kiss the ass of King POTUS and you're in the clear.
Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Imagine how rich we would be if we didn't have to pay all our insurances (home, mortgage, car, life, health, dental, eye and probably a few others I'm forgetting.)

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I thought it was physically impossible for a man to have a hairy chest and a hairless ass. Clearly, I should stick to doing math. 🤔

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

We don't have to worry about POTUS losing his job because of the govt shutdown. He hasn't started working for America yet.

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Can someone please tell POTUS he doesn't own the White House. And he doesn't even pay rent for it. He's a guest, and guests don't destroy someone else's home.

Can someone please tell POTUS he doesn't own the White House. And he doesn't even pay rent for it. He's a guest, and guests don't destroy someone else's home.
Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Do you think self-centered POTUS has figure out yet that his wife has been MIA for the last 4 months? Seriously, where is she?

Mike (@mikeva999) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The 3 main groups of 18-64 year olds: 1. Those that naturally look good 2. Those that go to the gym 3+ hours every day to look good 3. And the other 99% of society that have to work for a living and do chores. I'm #3.