Thanks to @JonReep and Comedy Off Broadway for a fun week in Lexington!

High fashion from a mall in Lexington, KY!

The deepest thought I've ever had while standing on a subway platform was, "Did the guy on the other side hear me fart?"

You guys, I think my job search is nearly over! tinyurl.com/bt6pnm9

How do you make a great impression at a new job? Leave your fly down for an hour just to prove you're Boss Rick Ross.

The gentleman sitting at the table next to me has very strong opinions about titties.

Watching Book of Mormon with @samevans05 aaaand it's every bit as amazing as I hoped. #lovemormon

Kim Jong Un looks like Mr. Burns told him to get rid of those blasted sideburns.

Does #TheWalkingDead takes place in an alternate universe where intestines are really easy to rip out?

#Wrestlemania is hands-down the biggest nerd convention on Earth. Wouldn't have it any other way.

@acmazzaro This is excellent news. Wanna grab a late drink tomorrow night?

Today I took it upon myself to save all of your shoes by stepping on every piece of gum in New York City.

#20ReasonsILoveBSB ITS UNFAIR TO MAKE ME NARROW MY LIST DOWN TO 20 :(

I don't feel fat until I drive over train tracks.

Looks like I didn't make Rolling Stone's list of "5 Terrorists to Watch."

If #Detroit's assets are put up for sale, I'm totally bidding on RoboCop!

I hope they name him Of The Ring. #RoyalBabyBoy

Don't you love it when your neighbors throw out furniture that's nicer than the stuff you're still using?

No offense Caitlin Jee Hae Behle but Amtrak is right: You need to start wearing shoes.

Good thing I ate those nachos before bed or else I might not have woken up feeling like shit!