Given Daedalic suspended ops after LOTR Gollum, OceanGate has no excuse not to do the same after Titan. << RIP CEO :-( >> Fukn sucks to suck.

Happy "my brokerage account closed net positive today for the 1st time in a longer while than I would like to admit" day! Plz feel free to sell everything at open in an attempt to crush my happiness, as you jackasses out there always do.

It's not very demure or mindful, farmers, to make your whole town smell like cow shit.

No point tryna trade tonight.

Buy all the things!!!

It's un-American to be both Standard and Poor. I'm officially renaming the S&P 500 index to the "Salt & Pepper 500". See, now it's delicious? Much more American. Don't make me call my friends that own websites and be in the government.

Yay! Today we finally get to start counting down. Everyone remember from last time how many days are in a US presidential term?

How come an armadillo has 4 legs and no arms? #legadillo

Either "a rising tide raises all boats" or "increases in hourly earnings are inflationary", you can't have it both ways.

America should be spelled Aamerica so it's more first in the dictionary.

Make it awkward at work by referring to the people at your company as your companions.

Guys, shrinkflation doesn't really work for us bedroom DJs tryna bootstrap a career together when the milk crates go under 12" in either direction.

Stop with the April fools nonsense plz

what is your dog's favorite music genre?

Happy birthday to the 4/4 club!

Looking at $ES as markets open this afternoon: "Doesn't that price start with a 5, not a 4?"

4547 SPX low

happy 9:09 on 9/09 day