Offered my buddy a bag. He said nah I’m good, I’ve got a Red Bull. Should I shove his face in a urinal now or later?

0/2 in nights in Montreal… yes I had a few dfmo’s but it’s back to the drawing board. Turns out the “ask to suck face” method only works in Nashville

Yo bro I need a poncho. Dont wanna get my AirPods wet at the concert

Turns out drinking 15 beers and mucking two Big Macs right before bed doesn’t make u feel better in the morning #milkbag

So turns out none of the birds in Boston r bankers from the bank I robbed that want to fall in love with me on a sunny day while I rob Fenway

Turns out it’s ugly chick night at capo. Time to audible

Anyone wanna go out tn? First rounds on me fellas!

I love it when birds are giving me dome

Turns out every time I go out it’s ugly chick night… it’s like they know I’m coming

Pound and ground. #runthedamnball

So hung rn. Think someone spiked my 26 bud lights, 8 hot dogs, 3 bags or Doritos, 5 tequila shots, full bag of blow, and my 4 steak and cheese sandwiches…

Hot birds at the bar: “He’s pulled Tretiak, he doesn’t know what to do”

Consider me Water Logged right now.

I think there was a guy hiding in my bush with a glue stick and was repeatedly gluing my sack to the side of my leg last night

Help me understand why everytime I go out in the bean it’s either dust bird night or only beat chicks will talk to me

For the 15th year in a row, the Boston Society of Film Critics has given Best Picture to Ben Affleck's The Town

I love head

Wtf is going on… beat chick night again… ugh!