need gas station burger

what the Pickles hear when i get home from the bar

tweet deleted: escaped drafts but was quickly apprehended

no you’re still cute it’s just idk why the fuck you think that goes in the fridge

i’ve done more for the orange bass pro shop hat than any marketing exec could hope to achieve in a lifetime

nothing better than drinking a beer waiting for food you didn’t cook

sorry for acting manic it will happen again in 2-3 minutes here

the thing about an after work beer is that it typically leads to 2-9 more after work beers

held a door open for an old lady and she said god sends her angels i said point blank that ain’t me

the getting aggravated to getting horny pipeline is up to code

i could seriously hurt someone if i wanted to (i do)

well aren’t you a creative little piece of fucking shit

don’t ever show me a graph or chart

wearing a bolo tie so she has something to hold onto during cowgirl

sneezing attack for breakfast

today we are interviewing sisyphus for rolling stone magazine

guy who lays an adderall out with his fit for the next day

i envy those light switches that exist purposelessly always just hanging out not shit to do seems like the life

saying “nice” with each individual backshot