Why does every rural Midwest man look exactly like this

When you’ve said “10 dangs”, 4 “welp alrights” 2 “I spose it’s that time” and they keep talking

“Just use bug spray”

Mosquitos in the Midwest:

Midwesterners will throw extra napkins in the glove compartment “just in case”

I’ll never forgive Minnesota for this

“Potholes aren’t that bad”

Potholes in the Midwest:

Midwesterners during the 4 days a year where it’s 75° and sunny with no humidity

If you ask a Midwesterner “how’s it going” the day after Memorial Day weekend and they reply with “another day in paradise” or “living the dream” that roughly translates to push me off the grain elevator

Growing up in the Midwest is understanding that there is a 50/50 chance you are opening leftovers instead of butter

The most delicious beverages were served out of this pitcher

8 layers to a Midwest goodbye:

- slaps hand on knees warning
- a 'we've gotta go' statement
- hugs
- walking to the doorway
- one more conversation in the doorway
- more hugs
- talking while everyone's piling in the doorway
- placing hand on doorknob

The Midwestern church basement

Midwest nice is putting your paper plate upside down in the trash at the BBQ so you don’t offend whoever made the stuff you didn’t eat

Speak Midwestern 101:

“We’ll see” - not coming

“I’ll let you know” - I will not

“Hmm not sure yet” - very sure about not coming to that thing

“I’ll see if we can make it work” - it will not

“I’ll think about it” - nothing to think about and not going to happen

At least one of these salads will make an appearance at the Midwest Memorial Day BBQ

*Small town Midwest introduction*

Kid 1: “I’m from a small town”

Kid 2: “OH YA, HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE IN YOUR GRADUATING CLASS? I HAD 20.”

The Midwest isn’t real

Midwesterners will see a line form behind them and can’t help but say “we came at a good time”

One of us