trump hasn't really proven himself on the world stage to be any sort of brilliant tactician. i don't think he's "evil", just an inept narcissist using hyperbolic rhetoric to a captivated audience at the right moment in history and was voted into a position far above his pay grade

Let's not forget...Canada went through just as much shit as America. I mean, theirs was moose shit, but I'm just saying... #OhCanada #CanadaChat #CanadaDay

Gone with the Wi....SQUIRREL! #DogBooks After Midnight

The Hunt for Red Labridoodle. - by Tom Chaser #DogBooks After Midnight

A-Carp-o-Lypse Now. #oceanmovies After Midnight

Grand Theft America: Wall Street Edition #RuinAVideoGame After Midnight

I occasionally throw out these golden nuggets, and apparently they end up being pyrite.

Apparently, you can't participate in "Bring your Daughter to Work Day" at the Bunny Ranch. #GotFiredBecause After Midnight

Once had to pay full price for the toupee. #TrumpSacrifices

I would tweet something, but I don't want to get interrupted by The Donald. #DebateNight

Never...NEVER! Use calamine lotion as lube. There's a reason you have the lotion idiot.

Fixed the controversial Starbuck's #UnityCup

Me: *Googles "Is it too late to sign up for Mars expedition?" Google response: YEP Me: damn. #ElectionNight

50 Shades of Conferate Grey #RedneckAMovie After Midnight

Honey, I Fondled the Kids. #RedneckAMovie After Midnight

Happy Birthday, Amy Winehouse! Also, congrats on 6+ years sober !

I swear...it's like everyday I have to deal with people who just want to be ignorant about very simple concepts.

I am living in a world where Kid Rock is a viable candidate for the US Senate.

I'm not tweeted in a bit, but I needed to shout-out to @SineadOconnorHQ for thanks. Bless you always for the beautiful music you have given us.

My Fitbit congratulated me for 25 minutes on the elliptical... Uh, cool thanks? I haven't left my computer screen that entire time.