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This sounds like the script for an expensive aftershave advert… Wonder what ‘Worm, Givenchy’ smells like 🤷🏼‍♂️

José to #SAFC Beale to B&M Pallion Can’t see any other way to solve this shitshow 🤷🏼‍♂️🤣

When you and ya mate book a nice hotel for a double date but the girls you invited don’t come back from the loo after dessert cos your patter is shite

You’re a fungi @NickFaldo006 😜 #TheOpen2024 #igotyourjoke

We spent about £27m on the London 2012 opening ceremony. This French effort is half school disco and half H&M advert…the biggest bill for the night will be the fuel for the boats #Olympics2024Paris #OpeningCeremony

We had James fucking Bond in ours, they’ve got Papa Smurf singing in a fruit salad 🤣

Chuck a few smoke bombs and the divs flipping cars and pavement dancing will go home thinking the chemtrails are gonna get them #sunderland

If I was a burglar in Sunderland I’d be heading straight for Patriot Street…

This is the real Sunderland, proud people who give a shit.

I’ll never be ashamed of my city, ever. But there’s nowt stopping me from wishing that every single dickhead smashing it up right now gives birth to a hedgehog from their arse first thing in the morning

RIP Jaffe Joffer, King of Zamunda #jamesearljones 😔

Happy Birthday to The King, and my Queen 😜 Faye Tozer 😘 #actualroyalty #poproyalty

Taking them points back up the A19 feels so much better than the 3 I won for speeding near Ingleby Barwick last season 🤣 #safc #gerrin #hawaythelads

Has Faldo got a cold or is he hammering the Augusta nose busta? #sniffsniff #TheMasters2025

Get Rigg and Mundle on now to get the job done…I don’t like being stressed 👊🏼 #SAFC

Let’s get ready to Mundle 👊🏼 #safc

That was possibly the strangest header I’ve ever seen, but to be honest he could have wafted it in with his Nana’s slipper and I wouldn’t give a fluffy fuck. Gerrin! Sunlun go to Wembley 👊🏼 #SAFC #queserasera

Our away kit is worthy of a Wembley run out like…everything happens for a reason 👊🏼 #SAFC

Ha’wayawayawayawayawayaaaaaaa!!! One final performance lads, forget us lot for now, just do yourselves proud 👊🏼 #SAFC #HawayTheLads

Tommy Watson just dished out the best leaving present since the lads in accounts got me a pen with tits on in 2001 👌🏼 #gerrin #SAFC #WearGoingUp