Is it too late to rebrand my very dormant Twitter account as an outlet for appreciating the poetics of as-seen-on-Amazon machine-generated Chinese clothing trademarks?

Floerns. Pintage. Burlady. Zeagoo. Zealotpower. GenericWomen. We have entered the era of Post-Idiomatic Shopping.

Pop quiz: Nabokov or Trump?

Ok here goes. I wrote a complete course in designing your own bowl of noodle soup. It contains my words, drawings, recipes, and no small chunk of my soul. You can pre-order here:

Look, I’m sorry I never tweet anymore, but within 5 minutes of logging back in, I saw Ted Cruz’s face, and I had managed to not do that for like 8 months previously.

Do I know how to paste a link? No, I don’t know how to paste a link, I’m an AUTHOR now. (Here is the link: amazon.com/gp/aw/d/076246…)

This Hong Kong-born American is feeling weirdly sandwiched between July 1 and July 4 — both commemorating breaks with British sovereignty, but each with wildly different consequences. Meanwhile, my cat is hiding under the bed from the fireworks, which feels about right.

Every July 4, I reread my late grandfather's letter to the Chicago Tribune about how much our national anthem sucks (with a bonus dig at Aretha Franklin, somehow), and ponder heredity.

👋

Hello, I wade into Twitter every 8 months or so in response to extreme circumstances such as having a book to preorder or my olfactory nerve being under attack by pathogens. What's good, what's new?

Anyone else feeling personally victimized by Joyce Carol Oates in those YouTube ads declaring that the enemy of good writing is not lack of talent but interruption by other people? I have been uninterrupted for 12 straight days and have written...this tweet.

Corona High, Class of 2020, yearbook pic.

People who lost their sense of smell: Has it come back? How long did it take? Asking for a friend, who lives on my face and has nostrils.

Our new favorite green side—in 10 minutes, all thanks to Michele Humes. #GeniusRecipes f52.co/3bIZjE8

Laundry in a time of Covid: My laundromat across the street has resumed drop-off services, with the proviso "NO UNDERWEAR". Citywide trend, or is it just my laundry lady who is an infectious disease specialist?

I need to know I'm not the only person in New York being driven crazy by the checked box next to "Washer/Dryer".

2018.