When you work in a customer-facing role and need a constant reminder to stay professional.

"Make space in the trolley for the Canoe!"

Certified Paw-thentic! #Cat #Cats #CatsOfTwitter

📚 My debut novel - possibly the most personal thing I've ever written - is FREE to download for a few days! If you love #ComingOfAge stories with heart & humour, grab your copy now! UK: amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BB2YD8SK US: amazon.com/dp/B0BB2YD8SK #AmReading #FreeBooks #IndieAuthor

"You sleep ok last night." "I slept great. Why do you ask?" "...no reason."

Parenting problems! 😅

"I don't like Spaghetti Hoops anymore." "But these ones are shaped like Elsa from Frozen." "...Fine. I'll eat them." #ParentLife

🚨 Exciting news! 🚨 Hospice UK has a Chelsea Flower Show garden! 🌿 Designed by Thomas Hoblyn, it moves to a hospice after. Join our exclusive garden party on May 22: 🥂 After-hours access 🍾 Drinks & canapés Few groups of 10 left—perfect work night out! DM me for details.

As a parent, few decisions are as ruthless as choosing which drawings deserve a spot on display and which ones quietly disappear into the bin.

Me trying to explain to my 6 year old what's happening in Back to the Future.

Just watched Labyrinth on the big screen. I wasn't mentally prepared for Bowie's 5ft crotch!

I'm worried that all this speculation about a massive city buried over 4,000 feet beneath the Egyptian pyramids is distracting from the real news - like Pot Noodles now being included in the Tesco meal deal. Truly, what a time to be alive.

Does it make you happy? Are you hurting anyone by doing it? If the answers are yes and no, then just do it. People will talk whether you do it or not — so own that weird, wonderful thing that makes you you.

A frustrating part of parenting is being told your food sucks by someone who's favourite meal is Super Noodles with ketchup.

"Look, the sooner you walk into school, the sooner you'll be back out." "No. The sooner I go in, the longer I'll be in there." ".........just go." Outsmarted by a bloomin' 6 year old!

Just voted in the BBC/RHS People’s Choice Award at Chelsea Flower Show – because Hospice UK’s “Garden of Compassion” is stunning and deserves the spotlight! A win would shine a light on the vital work hospices do across the UK. Please vote if you can! bbc.co.uk/programmes/art…

When your Father's Day card just says “POO” in giant letters - and you wipe away a single tear, realising your child is a true poet at heart.

A fun game to play when you're 40+ is guessing whether you just slept badly or if that new joint pain is just your life now.

You know times are tough when you’re only swiping right on Tinder when their hobbies cost under fifty quid. Enjoys dog walks? Yes! That works.

Coldplay accomplished what Bill & Ted only dreamed of - uniting the world through music!