when jeezy says “inside fish sticks outside tarter sauce” that’s me fr

i can’t be in this town any longer everyone keeps pronouncing words wrong and the rodeo’s $20 at the gate goodbye

if i could shout one thing from the rooftops it’d be “i love cottage cheese”

still haunted by the way i say your name in dreams

boy it’s not even 6am shut the hell up

every day i wake up sneezing and every morning the first words out of my mouth are “jesus fucking christ” and that’s literally not a lie

slapping sense into people needs to make a comeback asap

what the fuck chat

yall might think im attractive til i’m standing at my apartment door hitting the unlock button on my car fob to get in ???? like girl what

my sweet lil old man neighbor who lives by himself is drunk and as we’re chatting (i’m leaving he’s coming home) he opens his door and goes “ok bye, love you” and like man i’ll cry i stg

just met the love of my life on the metro elevator omg

guy at the bank literally glaring at me cause his shit was broke and i said it looks like the power strip’s not on and he was like no it looks like it’s on and then it wasn’t on 👍

an unkempt bass player? say less

cloakroom guest list girlie who even is she 😇