🚨BREAKING NEWS: From ‘Welcome to Country’ to ‘Kill the Farmer’ – The Slippery Slope Just Claimed Another Corpse
Stage 1: “Welcome to Country” – Your Ticket to Guilt
What began as a polite nod to tradition is now a full-blown ideological strip search. Attend a football match,
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Local Man Says His Favourite Word—Leftist Media Calls It “Fascism”
In a stunning act of unhinged extremism, a man with orange skin and suspicious patriotism declared a word so offensive, it instantly triggered globalists, Marxists, and wine aunt panel shows into
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Albo Crowned Mardi Gras Queen After Slurring Disabled Dissenters and Rediscovering His Inner Marxist
SYDNEY — Anthony Albanese has officially come out… as the most flamboyantly out-of-touch Prime Minister in Australian history.
Fresh from pirouetting down
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Evil President Hitler Cancels Pride Month, Triggers Collapse of Polycule-Based Utopia
In a devastating blow to progress, inclusivity, and the fragile self-esteem of 47 million genderqueer TikTok therapists, President Hitler (formerly known as Donald Trump) has
🚨BREAKING NEWS : Nationals Leave Woke Circus, Liberals Left Holding Rainbow Flags and ESG Scorecards
Canberra, May 20, 2025 — In a bold act of political self-respect, the Nationals have finally cut the umbilical cord attaching them to the rotting carcass formerly known as the
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Crystal Palace Fans Confirmed as Only Humans on Earth Capable of This Much Loyalty, Perseverance, and Patience
LONDON — In an era where football fans switch teams more often than politicians switch principles, Crystal Palace supporters have just pulled off the
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Glorious People’s Republic of Victoria Announces New Tax on Breathing, Standing Upright
MELBOURNE – May 21, 2025
In a bold new move hailed by university lecturers and inner-city vegan collectives as “transformational,” Premier Jacinta Allan has ushered in a new
🚨EXCLUSIVE: Global Elites Announce New Loyalty Program — Epstein Flight Miles Now Redeemable at WEF, UN, and Clinton Foundation
DAVOS, GENEVA, LITTLE SAINT JAMES — In a bold move toward streamlining corruption, a new partnership has been announced between the Epstein Frequent
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Elon Musk Confirmed as Supreme Ruler of America, Russia, Mars, and Parrot Droppings
DOHA — In a shocking revelation that absolutely no one with a functioning brain believes, brave truth-seekers at the Wall Street Journal and its spiritual cousin Dictator Weekly
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Stand-Up Set Leaves 37 Polycules Emotionally Displaced
NEW YORK CITY — In a stunning act of unsanctioned honesty, stand-up comedian Alvin Kuai has thrown a Molotov cocktail of common sense into the TikTok-enforced Ministry of Acceptable Sexual Labels by
KNIGHTDOG This level of sarcasm-illiteracy should qualify as a disability. He calls me a moron and then bravely dies on the hill of “winge.”
Who wants to tell the gay soy boy before he macramés his own humiliation into a pride flag?
🚨BREAKING NEWS: Local Polyamorous Neurodivergent Gender Nebula Declares Monogamy a Tool of Fascism, Gets Applause from Six Partners and a Houseplant
In a brave act of societal collapse, a local “relationship anarchist” named Jexxxy-Lune (they/fuzz) held a TikTok live this
🚨BREAKING NEWS: UK and Australia Join Forces to Launch New Nation: The People’s Democratic Republic of Gaslightistan
LONDON/MELBOURNE — In a groundbreaking move that experts are calling “peak clownworld,” Keir Starmer and Anthony Albanese have announced the formation of a new