I hope they’re prepared for some tension at Epcot tomorrow

Modern day frosty the snowman prob has like a corncob vape

Doctor: “why don’t you just go get some pizza from this place on Coldwater in the valley. You’ll feel better.” “But doctor…”

Tough night for George Solti Hive

How many Creed movies before he fights the best Creed character?

Robert Gottlieb edited all my tweets, what do I do now

the main character of Cormac McCarthy’s final book is named “Western”. I love it! It’s like if Stephen King named a guy Mr. Spooky.

Is SAG giving A24 movies strike waivers because the ppl would be annoying on the picket line?

Why do people always talk about the hottest day on record, but never the smartest?

Monster: I’ll tear you limb from limb! me: ok, but what does that even mean? I don’t have any limbs that are attached to another limb, do you mean like ‘I’ll tear you limb from body?’ Or are you picturing like a leg that has an arm sticking off of it like a branch?

Big thank you to the one-stall men’s room at the Whole Foods across from the Warner Brothers lot. Your work is done.

Congrats to the new 20-person White Lotus writers room!

The day before the strike ended I shorted Hoka stock and am now a billionaire

There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the farts get out

I have some problems with the golden bachelor. For one thing, he’s mostly made of carbon

I applaud the return of the 2002-era DVD case aesthetic!

This movie is so crazy, it thinks it’s Napoleon!

The part in ‘Mary had a little lamb’ where the children ask “what makes the lamb love Mary so?” is such a network note

“Movie! Movie!”

This proves that Pulitzer Prize winners are good half time performers and next year it should be Thomas Friedman