Inviting your old LAN party buddies to help clean out your grandma's house and you're like "Pardon DE_DUST"

man i shouldn'ta smoked that halfling's leaf now i'm sailing into the west towards valinor

"I may not be 'formally diagnosed' by a 'doctor' with a 'degree', but I play the theremin and moderate three subreddits so yeah, I think I am qualified to opine on the matter"

"Mr. Gunn? Mr. Gunn? Here's my script treatment for the next Batman movie, get this; 'What if Bruce Wayne read Thomas Nagel?'"

Calling it now: If you gave Neil Breen a $120 million budget he'd also make Megalopolis.

oh sorry I forgot to introduce myself I mandela'd myself into this universe from a world where flight of the conchords are from singapore instead

I used to be an effusive NYC chauvinist, constantly harping about how it was the best city in the world last night I was charged $9 for a side of rice at a Mexican restaurant and now I demand Manhattan be purified by nuclear fire

all I've had today is coffee, tea and a half pound of tiramisu I'm beginning to see the machine elves for the first time since college

broke: lying about your age woke: being honest bespoke: confusing people by saying you remember using usenet but were also part of the target demo of homestuck

chiefing bigass blunts as the seance so I can summon the spirit of carl sagan and ask him if boltzmann brains had a subjective experience of gender

I want my next d&d character to be a tree-spirit wearing dungarees and gifted in archery: Jean Bowdryad

The thing about Lovecraft you need to understand is that he was such a capital W White Racist that he didn't even think Italians were human, which lead to him speculating about what other forms of non-human intelligence must inhabit the universe and somehow arriving at seafood

"Death of the author" isn't enough, I must be complicit in their murder.

All territory on Earth can be divided into two categories; The City of New York and its suburbs.

AITA for reporting my sire to HR for calling the dhampir intern a "daywalker"?

I do hope that Guy Fieri lives to see the total ecological collapse of the biosphere so I can see what sauce he slathers the reconstituted nutrient paste with, long after the last donkey goes extinct

Hegelian Dianetics AKA The Phenomenology of Thetans

im crying man they way this is written makes it sound so funny