Home is where there's nothing good to eat 🏠

New term of endearment for significant other: Plus One ❤️

Valentines Day! The time u get to reflect & celebrate the luv for one another.. Unless ur single, in that case u get to do laundry.

Optimism: In 1 hour, i'll only have 3 hours left till i'm off work.

Them - "Are you drunk?" Me - "No i'm Persian"

Wow what a day - Me everyday

When you're in the middle of a conversation and you think of something funny to say but the other person keeps talking UGH

How many times do i need to hear ed sheeran on the radio before i go buy an aux cord

Dont email me "Happy Friday" and follow it up with "can you do something for me." Expect a call from HR.

What you think about becomes you(r Google history)

Everyday I'm Struggling Everyday I'm Everyday I'm Everyday I'm Struggling

How to be persian: 1) Open contacts 2) Add Joon/Jan next to every name 3) Close contacts 4) Make tea

Hey guys!! The Newport animal shelter is closing its doors for good July 1st and all animals not adopted will be euthanized. Plz retweet!!

*follows dreams* *dreams dont follow back* *unfollows dreams*

Survival of the littest