Sometimes your body isn't a temple, sometimes it's a Walmart clearance section.

Back in the days of the Wild West, cowboys would place a lantern on their saddle so they could find their way back This was early saddle light navigation.

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves…

I went out with a one legged girl once who worked in a brewery. She was in charge of the hops.

Before it was carved, Mt. Rushmore's natural beauty was unpresidented.

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. But smoking bacon will cure it.

When two people have sex, its a twosome. When three people have sex, its a threesome. Now I know why people call you handsome.

The reactions 😂😂😂

I would not be sad if Polanco and Garver got traded away

#Mariners go figure another fine strikeout performance by the offense we are in 1st place in 2 categories the west (for now) and not just the division but the whole league in strikeouts need to make some moves before the deadline heck send them to Tacoma bring up some talent

Well #Mariners 5 strikeouts through 3 so only 6 more to go and we need to hits

About time!! #Mariners

In the process of moving so I have missed a lot lately this move will change everything for us!! Staying focused till we get things settled!!

Mitch Garver 🤦‍♂️ #Mariners

#Mariners don’t you think it’s time to consider benching Mitch Garver

What a joke Polanco 36-190, 2-18 in the last few series at least Garver finally got a hit #Mariners seem to be so focused on great pitching they forgot that you actually have score in clutch situations gets us some bats

#Mariners we could have gotten some new towels or maybe a new ball boy for Garver you blew it at the deadline

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary