You will not fuck with my children’s future. You will not destroy the freedoms my grandfather fought two world wars to defend. Fuck off you over-promoted rubber bath toy. Britain is revolted by you and you little gang of masturbatory prefects.

Some parts of the media have been happy to portray Boris Johnson as a loveable rogue, but Tanmanjeet Singh Dhesi MP provides a stunning takedown on the PM's dangerous and ill advised hectoring, leading the House to break the convention of never applauding another honourable member's speech...

All hail The Pixies at Ally Pally

Phone camera went off by mistake and I love the picture @ London, United Kingdom instagram.com/p/B2r1QGHFEUh/…

Great to catch-up for a few drinks with the SoMe legend Kyle Grieve Good luck in your new job 👍 Since we first met, you've constantly impressed me with your passion and commitment. You care and that shines through 🌟

Yesterday's London travel curiosities - an old lady on the train to Cannon Street was shaving her armpits and on the bus home, a man was eating a tin of tuna using just his fingers #normalday

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Yep. Seems about right. London and the South East good, the infrastructure in Yorkshire is appalling. bbc.com/news/business-…

50 mins to go one mile this morning. London traffic at its worst 😔Still, better than being stuck in HMP Belmarsh like Julian Assange

Excellent advice for nurses from Viz Comic Altogether now, one, two...

Having staff working from home brings a whole set of new subbing problems. Surprised that Waitrose let this slip through. Not my picture BTW. I long for the days of being able to stroll through Waitrose

- when this is all over i can’t wait to get away⏤ - yeah, we’ve definitely earned a holiday. - i meant from you...

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i have wandered for 40 days and 40 nights. i have climbed mountains and crossed deserts. i have toiled with fear and wrestled with my inner demons... and i’m still only halfway to my nearest f**king covid testing centre...

I hope you’re sitting down, because this week’s column should make you very, very angry. It shows how professional clinicians employed by the NHS in crucial test and trace jobs have been secretly replaced by teenaged call centre workers employed by Serco theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

As an NHS employee I'd just like to take a moment to respond with all the compassion I can muster at this point in the evening: Go fuck yourself. (please note: this is a personal response and probably does not represent the views of some of my employers)

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- daddy said that foxes have big willies. - what? no i didn’t. what i actually said was that lawrence fox appears to be a massive f**king dick....