You can throw balloons on the ground when ur done with them im pretty sure theyre biodeflateable

Nicole Brown Simpson, dead at 35

Wait, did they call him OJ bc he beat his girlfriend to a pulp? Or because that was his name?

Mom a bitch for this one

Upholstery? Like the chicken?

Dude i forgot how much i HATE losing on rebirth

Lebron’s Triple Double? More like Dave’s Triple Double (i’m at Wendy’s)

When ed sheeran said “behford onde gruss” i felt that

Getting ticks is for old people

Is this real

“I just need your John Hancock here”

Why would I forge John Hancock’s signature on this document?

Topical? Like Costa Rica?

I didnt feel the earthquake i feel so left out

I cant believe i missed out on experiencing my favorite natural disaster

“My baby is in utero”

Wtf is your baby doing in outer space?

why do the rich keep getting richard

In Cabo. Eating corn.

Corn on the Cabo.

What tf did i do

Wrong. This is British comedian Jimmy Carr.

Wrong. It’s not getting to have that sweet sweet alcohol

I didnt know cows were killing sharks at all 😳