Breaking News: Congress agrees on a stimulus package. Apparently it's gonna be a radio shack gift card and BOGO coupon for Bajio Mexican Grill. #StimulusBill

This is a feisty lil dude and I'm here for it.

Funniest shit I've seen so far today

Amazon: "I see you're searching for a Mario Pop Socket, well here's every pop socket ever made" Wish: "I see you're searching for a Mario Pop Socket, can I interest you in some lace underwear and a penis pump?"

After his #TwitterBan I've heard Donald Trump is now just scribbling seditious sticky notes and slapping on people as they walk by.

Who made this? 🤣

If I ever see Donald Trump again after tomorrow it better be to tell me about the benefits of a reverse mortgage and nothing else. #TrumpsLastDay #TrumpsNextJob

My favorite part about conversation hearts is that you're never quite sure if the cracking is the candy or your teeth. #ValentinesDay #ValentinesCandy

I think I'm gonna really enjoy Pokemon Breath of the wild #PokemonLegendsArceus #PokemonPresents

I was recently diagnosed with Mike Rowe Penis. It's not that it's small it just looks eerily like the host of Dirty Jobs.

#Accurate #wishordersbelike #FalconAndTheWinterSoldier

When you get your Captain America at the #DollarTree

My pixel bacon. #bacon #8bit #pixelpork

I’m verifying my Twitter account with Rarible. Check out my profile: app.rarible.com/user/0xe644380…

I wonder if Jack Black has tried this wine? It's not the greatest wine in the world...

This new Jimmy Fallon clip isn't very funny...

The best part about #TedCruz getting hit with a beer can at the #AstrosParade is now he gets to be on #Kimmel

Show me the lie... #Debates2024 #debate

The history of the most iconic and misunderstood Australian animal is fascinating. #Australia #Dingo #Animals #Nature inverse.com/science/ancien…

Hey Elon Musk you ok buddy? You keep liking replies where I mock you and call you out on your bullshit. Blink twice if you're in trouble, post AI generated memes rooted in racism and call the left fascist if you're a fuck stain on America.