'As Scipio gazed out over the destruction of Carthage he wept openly, realising that all cities and nations must, like men, meet their doom. Reflecting on the fate of all human things, he was filled with foreboding, that one day the same doom might be visited on his own nation.’

I can now drop the pretense that I actually like soccer

Chicken and wild rice soup is soooo good

It feels like I was broken up with

Nothing better than a new dan Carlin episode

I can't stand the Eagles. Officially an AFC fan for the next 2 weeks.

Biggest red flag is if you don't drink Hamms

I think godfathers pizza smells like olive flavored armpit.

There is so much grilling to do this year.

If anyone is being bombarded by scam calls, please forward their information to me.

I'm sad to say but this is the last time I will be giving the Austin swingers my money.

I'm Catholic in the streets but Lutheran in the sheets.

Injecting the essence of taco johns

ROW. THE. BOAT.

I love onions.

Patrick "MaFraud" is yet again taking advantage of woke corruption within the NFL.

My goal for the State Fair this year is to not break my leg.

I appreciate that Adam Thielen is coming home, but his wife is annoying as hell.

Its time to bench McCarthy