I have spoken to the Prime Minister to tender my resignation as Secretary of State for Health & Social Care.

It has been an enormous privilege to serve in this role, but I regret that I can no longer continue in good conscience.

Matt Hancock has climbed in through a window round the back of No.10, grazed knees bleeding. All smiles, despite the tears, he casually asks if he can lend a hand. He spots an empty cupboard and steps inside, waiting for his time to shine. He is now accidentally locked in.

Oh look… A turd that’s been rolled in Glitter. ✨💩

Katie Boulter, what a lovely young lady BBC Sport GB News Talk
And if you’re not allowed to say that anymore……….. BOLLOX TO YOU!!!!

I am 3 YEARS alcohol + opiate free today

Dear God,

Please can we all be given a nana like this?

This is the old school hope and humanity we desperately all need 👏

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Can you hear us Boris? Jamie Webster creates the first classic Glastonbury Left Field moment of this year #Glastonbury2022

😂

🎶 Bye Bye Boris, Boris Goodbye 🎶
🎶 Bye Bye Boris, No One Will Cry 🎶
#ByeByeBoris

I wonder if Gary Lineker will be the first black James Bond.

Seen this trending is anyone in their right mind going to do such a silly thing again??? #VoteConservative #maybenot

anyone else on here take great pride in being a 'relic' and paying in cash?? i love the look on the teller as they have to count out change, call me old fashioned but cash is fundamental, giving your kids 50p for washing up, note in a card, we cant lose that

Oh this one is brilliant 😂

This guys been banned from the BBC, watch and see why. You won’t find this video they removed on the BBC.

This dog did a great job saving his master when the house was burning🔥.

Loyalty does not need a title of recognition.. It is a dignity ❤

What i find most alarming is upon stumbling across vids of boris his first ambition was to be 'king of the world' he was told it wasnt possible and best he could be pm, i think boris would rule over a pile of ashes aslong as he rules over it #NotMyPM #doesthekidlooklikezac

TODAY I’m 15 years drug free (including alcohol)
Can I get a retweet to show that long term recovery from addiction is possible? ❤️

BREAKING: After telling Universal Credit claimants they can now apply for mortgages, Boris Johnson has announced some more exciting initiatives. For example, homeless people will be offered 10% off their next yacht & Russians will be allowed to buy 2 Tory MPs for the price of 1 x