Yanno what, that was a weird thing to post. Should not have hit the post, just no Marty

Your enemy? Someone lame My enemy? The IRS

She’s a 10/10 but she obsesses over mason jars and tacky quotes

She’s a 10/10 but her dog shits all over her apartment

when my teachers asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I said "I already know how to deliver" she said "like a mail man then?" I responded "no mam, a shitposter on x dot com"

You're getting glazed in the cod lobby I'm getting glazed in the bedroom

At 10,000 followers I’ll tell you what happened to flight 370

Grok Grok imagine Imagine Imagine grok shut up

Maybe I’ll get into model trains when I’m old

Sunday scaries aren’t real if you’re always scared

I just found out they were saying TWERK not TWERP whaaaat a whole new meaning

Straight up destroying the 🚽 right now and apologize for this irresponsible post I’ll do better

Startup idea: Roomba for your mouth

Ohhhh you mfs weren’t playing when you said True Detective is good

I have never used any of these apps

All golf dudes look the same

tpot pickleball tournament when

I’ll be mid laugh sometimes then remember bills an shit

I still remember the night I transitioned from bath boy to shower man

Another day closer to retirement or going all in on that startup