INSANE: Trump DOJ abducts innocent man w/non-verbal son in car & 2 more at home w/🇺🇸 wife, say he’s MS-13 w/no evidence, sends him to brutal El Salvadoran prison w/no due process, defying court order, says it’s all mistake but won’t get him out, saying, chill out, he’s fine!

QUASI TO-TO!!! PARTYING SINCE LIBERATION DAY!

Need to narrow my news alert aperture. Just received 🚨 headline, “Haley Joel Osment Charged With Public Intoxication at CA Ski Resort.” The Sixth Drink…I see drunk people.

Happy Mother’s Day Drinking!

Re: Biden’s health, a Harvard study found that men who ejaculate at least 21 times per month enjoy a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer. So remember, a fluid oz. of prevention…

I wish the "most complex machine humans ever created," ASML'S TWINSCAN EXE, lithography scanners critical for producing the world’s most advanced microchips, were around back in The Screensavers days so l could have whipped up a chalkboard drawing to explain how they work.

I would love to be added to the group chat the other NATO leaders must have going about Trump.

Trapped on the toilet all day prepping for a colonoscopy. What movies should I watch?

My father worked at Kodak from high school to retirement. In the ROC, everybody’s father did, so every Kodak moment? Paid for by Kodak. 1st baseball glove, summer rentals on Cape Cod, 1980 Plymouth Volare. Shame if it shutters, but I’ve posted this before. cnn.com/2025/08/12/bus…

LET’s GO BUFFALO! 🦬 🦬 🦬 Incredible football game.

Ha! All my shows are already canceled, asshole.

Another tweet, another mission accomplished: Jimmy Kimmel is back on the air. What personal/societal/national/global crisis would you like me to solve next?

Anyone planning to peacefully and patriotically join a No Kings protest tomorrow? nokings.org

I hope Hurricane Melissa doesn’t tear down the east wing of Mar-a-Lago.

No.

Help America win! Vote for my friend Nick’s video in Rome’s Coliseum International Film Festival Go to section 2, BEST INTERNATIONAL MUSIC VIDEO CLIP, and vote for We Are Not Afraid Voting ends 45 minutes, at 7:30pm ET - thanks! coliffe.it/en/vote-2025-en