this just cured me

read the idol like you read succession. sorry but it's a good show... im horrified, repulsed & laughing the whole time. every character is a hyperbolic cliche idiot in a good way. you think jocelyn is smoking cigs in literally every scene because they earnestly think its cool???

forgot to give my dog the last bite of my toast so i took it out of my mouth and fed it to him like baby bird food

when i wear more than a tiny amount of makeup i look so busted it cracks me up

at gymkhana and the americans at the next table asked the waiter “what do americans order here?”

if a website uses the phrase "your investment" instead of just saying "price" i immediately become skeptical and wont buy it. whoever is selling pdfs about selling pdfs needs to update their curriculum!

you can tell olivia rodrigo doesn't write her own songs because using "god damn" or "damn" as a qualifier is the ultimate ick and something no one under 30 would ever say

young adults have always been like this. the only thing that’s changed is they used to say this in private conversations with their moms and now they post their embarrassing phases on the internet

just smelled something outside and thought “i can’t tell if that’s a skunk or weed” and that’s when i invented the slang term “skunk”

in home depot without a man

the worst thing you could ever say is “____, baby!”

i got bored during the debate last night but Anna Khachiyan's boots inspired me to do some shopping on my phone

is there like a ufo or a rocket flying over LA right now

sitting next to someone at the bar in lax who is texting a group chat called “virgin mary proof” while watching a blurry old documentary about mary on her laptop sound on and intermittently reading from a book about mary

a man just said good morning to me at 6:09pm

sad music is for happy people and happy music is for sad people

gagging to take the trash out at 11:22pm on a saturday night why am i like this

why does tiktok make me do a puzzle of a shiba inu every time i want to like a video

working out in a gym feels like when you fall over in public and have no one to laugh with