I have a friend who covered up his back tattoo of a dragon w/ a back tattoo of a bigger dragon

Got catcalled just now Him: Heeey girl you lookin' fiiine. Me: Suck my cock. Him: 😊🙂🤨🤔😶😮😧🤯😱😨🤢🤮😡🤬 Me: Pussy.

Theres this quirky thing I do where I drink 2 beers and get druuuuuunk

#youngrectums2018 whats up

I got a sample of perfume by #Gucci and I thought the logo was the #Batman symbol. I was like, "Yes. I want to smell like Justice."

I saw a cop w/ a stormtrooper tattooed on his neck and that's about the most ominous fucking thing I've ever seen. I bet he can't shoot worth a damn.

Just a reminder that our bodies are greasy, decomposing prisons

I am morally superior to everyone in this Shake Shack except for the teller who just told the European couple live-streaming their experience to get their phone the fuck out of her face

The kid who just picked up a blunt roach off this subway floor is gonna live forever

Caitlin Ruppert Margo SKANKFEST Much respect to Margo on that naked roast. In my opinion, not only more good jokes but more balls... more boobs... And more beef. That guy didn't have a chance.

#NewProfilePic

I'm halfway through the new Rocko's Modern Life special and HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!! #trans #90s #speaksdirectlytome

Why #RachelBighead is so important to me #RockosModernLife #RockosModernLifeStaticCling #transglowup #transpride

Don't forget: This weekend EXISTS b/c of trans women of color hurling bricks at cops 💝 #NYCPride

Too many Mike's, not enough Ike's

Riding the subway is like playing Pokemon but w/ races. I just caught: French Vietnamese South American Jew Puerto Rican Magician

Call me when they make Lady Slim Jims

My boss is a middle-aged Sicilian lady. My job is to let her yell at me.

Million dollar idea: Pizza places start serving cold pizza for breakfast

I'm eating microwave popcorn w/ chopsticks and have never felt so elegant