This country is a low-wage, no-hope cesspit. Unless you're already retired. Game's fucked, mate.

As a kid, we were taught that Remembrance was a sombre, solemn occasion. The way to show respect was to wear a small poppy, do the silence, lay a wreath and practice dignified reflection. Now it's a tacky holiday – a yankified contest in performative 'patriotism'

Quoting annual salaries and then comparing monthly take-home because is very silly, actually

bro thought breaking down the numbers would prove his point when all it really proves is he's a freak who doesn't go outside enough because it scares him

*David Attenborough voice* "This is where warmed-up sandwiches collide: here we have a melt shouting at a toastie"

He booked the wrong flight. Can't read big, brother colourful signs. Went the wrong way. Caught his transfer anyway. But it's the entire UK's fault he's such a dumbass.

Millennials we've been had. The Government is considering compensating people because they couldn't retire at 60 by increasing the taxes on people who won't retire til 68.

Right-wing rage-baiters like Emily are all shits and gigs until they're blubbering when nobody likes them #BBUK

she’s just realised the bible is about a brown skin man born in palestine who preaches to be kind to refugees #bbuk

I like our flag. Like many of us, I've got various things at home that incorporate its design. But because knuckle-dragging racists have co-opted it for their sad bully-boy crusade, I wouldn't fancy one right outside my house either. Plus: it's upside down you thick cunts.

Now THIS is how you do trailers Less than a minute, and a playful hint at what's to come – not a three-minute redux of the entire plot and the only good bits of the movie spoiled before you even set foot in the cinema

Obsessed with Cameron asking if there's any traditional cuisine local to Derry and Jenny says, "Aye. Chicken box." 😭😂 #BBUK

"What king cannot protect his crown?" ngl this was cinema #BBUK

Was Sam speaking with a lisp because he's got a fresh set of turkey teeth? #BBUK #BBLL

Some guy in Burger King just sat down next to a random old woman, said, "Let us nick a chip off you," and then looked absolutely mortified as he realised his mother was sitting at the next table 💀💀

hey! 😃 so, we don't want this! at all, actually! it's a disgrace to Walt Disney and real animators & artists—also a super quick way to lose your entire fanbase.

It's so funny this story spawned hundreds of suggestions of buildings which would make more suitable (and more splendid) accommodation for the Prime Minister & his staff But most of the arguments against it are because we hate ourselves and think the PM should live in a cupboard

Winter is upon us. It's mocha season ☕

It always existed, and never went away

Donald Trump blowing Bill Clinton's saxophone is funnier than that time he died