Watching Football C(8): that guy weighs 27 pounds? Dad: I’m pretty sure his number is 26 C: it says LB 27 Dad: I think he’s a linebacker

C(8): oh you can put my sandwich in that tubberware Dad: put it in what? C: tubberware Dad: ok that’s what I thought you said lol

*making school lunch for C* Dad: well if you don’t want anything can you take something and trade it to your friends for something else you like? C(8): Nope! Trading food is ILLEGAL Dad: I don’t think it’s illegal C: Yeah it’s illegal because of germs

M(11): I want to go to a wedding so I can eat tiny foods, they always have tiny food at weddings I can eat a ton and nobody will yell at me I mean is there anything better than tiny foods? I mean if something is less than 3 inches in width or height, does it even count?

C(9): Dad, dad, dad Dad: yeah C: I have some notes for the nachos. Dad: ok C: first, not enough cheese. Second, you need to put the cheese on first and then the meat, and also the meat was a bit dry

Watching the Defunctland FastPass video C(9): “FastPass use to be free! I want to live in the 1950s!” (It was the 1990s)

C(9): Back before the Internet when you read the back of shampoo bottles for entertainment, if you didn’t know what an ingredient was did you look it up in your encyclopedia?

C(9): Was Fleury (our dog) bread in captivity? Dad: lol, technically yes. He was not born in the wild

I told C the girl from the “look at all those chickens” is on tiktok and she’s in her 20s C(9): Going viral in a meme means you can get a job, you can put it on your resume and get hired Dad: I don’t think it works like that C: it’s called sarcasm dad. You do it all the time

C(9): Santa gave me an American girl doll last year, does he license it? M(12): He pays for the IP, he owns a bunch of IP C: but don’t you think American girl would announce a partnership with Santa? Mom: yeah but they probably have to sign an NDA

*Watching Vine compliations with C(9)* C: Why are they cube shaped Dad: LOL C: I’m serious why are they cube shaped videos and not phone shaped? Dad: Hold on I gotta tweet this

C(9) watching ‘How It’s Made’ in the other room Dad: what did you say? C: Nothing, just that the brownies look like big fat turds

M(12): if we get too many snow days it gets added at the end of the year C(9): yeah but what if the make up days are snow days M: it’s summer, it won’t be a snow day C: it might with global warming!

*watching a YouTube video and they mention RadioShack* M(12): Hey! RadioShack is from stranger things!

*me looking through all the different Olympics broadcasts going on* Dad: woah there’s all kinds of Olympics, which one do you want to watch? C(9) from the other room: WINTER!