throwing a party tmrw. bbno$ 👶🚫💰 you should come.

picking up the horse so I can ride it to pick up the salsa

it’s a good day

I think about this all the time

The 100 Greatest Nu Metal Songs of All Time 86. "Trust a Try" by Janet Jackson (2001)

dive bar chicken parm

sausage farmer’s wrap bout to make me a tim hortons apologist

“You’re really good at putting out fires. What’s your secret?” I’m constantly worried that everyone is gonna be mad at me if I don’t.

preparing for a work potluck was so much easier before I knew bringing the wrong thing would result in the brazen bull for me and my uber driver :(

the things I would do for a menthol cig right now

thinking about every girl who went thru an Annie Hall phase in high school

“I appreciate the air of mystery” I’m not being mysterious. I just don’t want to talk to you.

my brain at work after having wine with lunch

what women really want

when life gives you a cuck chair, take a damn seat

boomers had james taylor gen x had dave matthews millennials had john mayer gen z has teddy swims did i get it right?

hotels don’t have cuck chairs like they used to

ended up at Ska night. Gonna request some Cake.