‘Man accidentally invited for Covid-19 vaccine as NHS thought he was 6cm tall’ is the sort of joke I’d only dream of writing. #ThursdayMotivation #vaccine google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirr…

The rumours are true. I am committing to producing some more excellent #content for you to #eatwithyoureyes Here we are celebrating #women because it’s 2021 and I’m a #feminist for cripes sake. Happy #internationalwomensday to everyone who would like to celebrate that.

My 27 year old girlfriend has just discovered that she’s been asleep for 9 years of her life and she’s mortified. I’m wondering if I can get the next batch done in one go?

I don’t want you reading anything into this very normal picture. Just because my girlfriend is Irish and my ancestors colonised a third of the globe in NO WAY makes this an allegory for our relationship. Happy #stpatricksday to all you #irish and I guess everyone really.

Just broke Guinness World Records longest time holding breath under water. 1 hour and 20 seconds. Unbelievable. Happy #DaylightSavingTime She’s still not impressed. What can a guy do?

I’ve been got. It’s all fun and games until someone gets a wet head. #AprilFoolsDay

#420day #SayNoToEuropeanSuperLeague we need more grass roots heroes like this one

It’s #mayday ! James May went for a drive with #auntmay to celebrate and let me tell you, it was an adventure and a quarter.

#MayThe4thBeWithYou #yoda says hello

Happy #WorldGothDay - if you don’t know a goth you are the goth.

If only she looked at me like she looked at #wine #WineDay

This is 8 days late but happy #bestfriendsday from 8th June… strategically posted on this glorious celebration day that is the #happybirthday of Caterine Mosquera #bestfriends #sonoonetoldyoulifewasgonnabethisway

Bloody hell, bloody heck! We're only testing the show again at the prestigious flippin' Bill Murray. Tickets are a hearty £8. On Sunday the 5th June. The ticket link is in the bio. @ The Bill Murray instagram.com/p/Cd55h4vqBx0/…

Just posted a photo @ The Bill Murray instagram.com/p/Cd58bndKUQj/…

Sunday 5th June I will be in Angel trying to make strangers laugh a little. Listen, have a pint, have a laugh, have a nice time. See you there. Ticket link in bio @ The Bill Murray instagram.com/p/Cd_PpkoKmNW/…