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The autistic urge to finish a point with “if you know what I mean” or “if that makes sense”, because you’re so used to people not knowing what you mean or misreading you that you have little faith that your communication will be received as intended.

In-touch. In-touch. In-touch. What I wouldn’t give to hold you again. To see you laugh at something I say. To see your stubborn face, to have you be mad at me again. I’d tear myself into pieces for you without thinking, if it made you happy. But god, wasn’t that the problem.

I want to rip my heart out and set it on fire. It would hurt less than this.

I’m not out of shape. This is my shape and I’m in it.

My Grandma just referred to her mother (my great-grandmother) as “Hell-on-wheels for everybody” and she’s not wrong, woman is a Narcissist who loves to make others feel bad (my mom wouldn’t let us near the woman, but the stories continue because she won’t kick the bucket)

I was on lamotrigine and can confirm, still very autistic. (Twice, actually, once for epilepsy and once for bipolar) So I’ve been on high and low doses and medium doses. Still autistic.

Just did a yoga video off YouTube for beginners and the inflexible (I’m both) and had my What Do You Meme deck on hand as a yoga block. So like, honestly that game is good for parties, yoga, AND tarot. The next time someone asks what my spirituality goals it’s to be that game 🤣

Me: There is no food that starts with “v” other than vagina My friend: Velveeta? Me: That’s not a food. That’s a micro-plastic.

Body and brain are not good rn and I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything I can think of. 😭😭😭

To other autistic people, have you ever had moments where someone was flirting with you and you didn't realise until much later after missing all the hints?

Head silent except for Danny Schmidt playing on repeat in my head. He was the weather at the Nightvale Live show. And I am so obsessed you don’t even know. He even signed a poster that I bought and a fortune cookie fortune I keep in my phone case because my intuition said to.

I… I think I’m not bipolar. I think my symptoms are actually my late diagnosed autism and undiagnosed OCD. I’ve started making a list of things that are probably compulsions and not fun little personality quirks and uh… evidence is damning.

Going to start turning my weird ass bullshit brain injective thoughts into poem starters. “The water lever under the raspberry tea at the Panera told me you were cheating” First off, the water lever is a dirty liar. Second off, brain where the hell did that come from?

Tummy is hurting and I am so close to burnout I have zero spoons to be brave about it. Also, hello twitter, it’s been a very hot minute since I’ve been on here.

Do I like journaling or do I just love arts and crafts? Jury’s still out.

I’ve made some bad, truly bad choices this year. I’ve made some very cowardly choices this year. But mostly, I think I’ve been braver than I ever knew I could be and I’m just getting started.