the appalachian mountains are older than saturn’s rings. the appalachian mountains are older than dinosaurs. the appalachian mountains are older than trees. the appalachian mountains are literally older than BONES. the appalachian mountains should be regarded with pure terror.

Do you remember [the 21st night of September] when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

My license reads 24, but my back surgery scar and grey hairs scream 42

I’m convinced that the music companies play when you’re put on hold is masterfully designed to drive you nuts so that you just hang up.

People don't understand how hard it is to do a PhD when you're a fkn idiot

Citizens United v. FEC (2010)

As a pollster for going on two decades who has been deep in the weeds of pre-election polling analysis, all I can say about this election is that I have never been more uncertain about an outcome. Anyone who says they know what's going to happen should be treated skeptically.

No evidence of a red wave yet outside Florida. Gretchen Whitmer is blowing Dixon out of the water in #MIGov based on initial returns, Hassan is doing well in #NHSen, and Beasley, while still likely to lose, is surprisingly strong in #NCSen.

If the Dems end up losing the House, I think it can be said that they lost it in New York: they blew redistricting, and then they badly underperformed a still-very-winnable set of districts, even while faring well elsewhere

Rodgers getting tea bagged

What’s made being a Cowboys fan for the last twenty years uniquely miserable is that they always seem to be just good enough to deceive you into thinking that this year is gonna be different… Well they’ve got me again 🤘🏼🤘🏼