my kink is Boondock Saints-ing bad men

⁦cheesegod (he/him)⁩ happy anniversary to when I almost had you! 😘

oh you like your wife? name 3 things she likes about you

How many school music programs got defunded for this

We are all opossums being pulled by the big red pole of responsibility

Ben Cooper Ayesha Hazarika Real Men add gummy bears to their bone broth.

TUVIX WAS AN ABOMINATION AND JANEWAY WAS RIGHT TO SEPARATE HIM BACK INTO TUVOK AND NEELIX.

Rent

Loving how completely lesbionic Valentina Gomez is looking using a little flame thrower after committing petty theft of library books. Just needed actual doc martens to complete the look.

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Actually I don’t but editing the post to say “twitter” instead of X was too good.

I said “not today, Satan” but he still charged me the cancellation fee

I put the “best” in “asbestos”

Did the makeup department for Maestro do anything special besides putting a beak on Bradley Cooper for them to deserve that Oscar nom?

when fans post funnies.. #Bananaphone #belugagrads 🐳

Just thinking about the thousands and thousands of giant pink fuzzy mustaches in landfills thanks to Lyft ✨

Just bills bills bills and pills pills pills

“Are you fucking stupid?”
“No, we broke up.”

Me, today

I painted some cheap headphones