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What do cats eat for breakfast? Meat cereal.

What do you say when someone who’s lactose intolerant steals milk from the store? How “dairy” of him

This month, The Stand Newcastle welcomes The Sean Lock Comedy Award nominee Lauren Stone to its stage as she brings her deft, daft, and generous comedy to Newcastle. Info: nevolume.co.uk/culture/comedy…

do you live in London? do you like to have a laugh and also respect ladies?? come down & respect some ladies The Bill Murray TONIGHT angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/m…

APPLY NOW! The bursary is open to any resident in the borough of Manchester to support with accessing events or resources needed to develop their creative practice. Applicants are welcome to apply for a bursary of up to £100 DEADLINE 20 OCT somethingtoaimfor.com/manchester-art…

Really delighted to say I've got the marvellous No Context Kelly Egdar joining me as support this Monday. We'd love to see you thestand.co.uk/performance/18…

what happened when the dog won a competion his prize was some rubish

I was up all night thinking about this

Tonight! At the Stand Comedy Club, Newcastle. A show described by critics as, "silly with a capital S". 20:30 with support from the exceptional No Context Kelly Egdar. Get your tickets here thestand.co.uk/performance/18… The Stand Newcastle #CoolForCats

Thanks everyone who came down & saw "Cool For Cats" last night The Stand Newcastle. You were a wonderful audience, & No Context Kelly Egdar a very excellent support. For those who missed it, friends have said, "unexpectedly moving", "chaos" and "the first time I've thought about shrews in ages"

the film looks incredible. so does this cat

CRIPtic Arts are looking for online facilitators to deliver creative events in spoken English or BSL 💫 We'd love to connect with more facilitators from the global majority as well as facilitators with high access needs. 👇 bit.ly/4eCdjAR docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAI…

had to cancel £200 worth of work this week because I was ill and the national careers service says I should be a DJ. please book me for your november gigs

The real ghouls this season are the people who open a tuna sandwich behind me on the megabus

in other news I'm on my way to Leeds to do a very sick gig at Hyde Park Book Club

Enjoy singing some of the old songs? Want to learn some old songs? Then our 6-week term starts tonight for the London Music Hall Choir. We sing Mondays 7-9pm at the Brady Arts Centre E1. All welcome! #musichall #choir More details here: londonmusichallchoir.co.uk

We have 10 free places on our Screenwriting Weekender thanks to support from FilmNation! 🙏 If you're unable to attend without financial support, let us know by midnight on Sun 10 Nov. Bursary places will then be allocated at random. Full details at newwritingnorth.com/event/screenwr…

Tonight! We're raising some cash The Stand Newcastle so that Citizen's Advice Gateshead can better help local people cope with rising heating costs this winter. It's a no-brainer. Can't wait to see you thestand.co.uk/performance/16…

We're on the lookout for the next generation of creatives in Newcastle, North Tyneside & Northumberland ⭐️ Emerging Creative Associates offers early career writers and creatives 6 months of bursaries, training, mentoring & networking. Apply by 27 Jan 👇 newwritingnorth.com/event/emerging…

Newcastle weirdos, don't make us regret this. An absolute doozy of a line-up for this very foolish Christmas live game-show alphabettitheatre.co.uk/foolympics