Apparently I’ve been on this platform for 15 years. Barely ever here anymore and will never call it X but do miss how nice it used to be here, kind of like going back to your hometown after moving to the city #MyTwitterAnniversary

I don’t get it. I want to watch the Yankees/Blue Jays game. It’s the free game of the day on MLB At Bat. But I’m still stuck with a blackout? (Yes, I’m in New York.) Make it make sense, MLB

Cthulhu’s Kale #rhetoricalbandname

The Ironic Demure #rhetoricalbandname

That I’m Obsessed With #rhetoricalbandname

Shots After Champagne #rhetoricalbandname

Dave Chappelle Roan #rhetoricalbandname

Work Cousins #rhetoricalbandname

Apricot Milk #rhetoricalbandname

Overnight Cavalry #rhetoricalbandname

Paper Spoon #rhetoricalbandname

Transparent confetti #rhetoricalbandname

(The) New York Nocturnal #rhetoricalbandname

Microwaved Phish (a cover band) #rhetoricalbandname (but that probably already exists)

Slut Royale #rhetoricalbandname

Just waiting for Trump to get onto some shit about Africa so The Daily Show can use the headline “Lyin’ King”

Sex Suicide #rhetoricalbandname

The energy in the room was electric.