Spot Ryan

*astrophysics major spends 20 minutes trying to understand why it’s a new moon after the eclipse *

Holly Rowe down there fighting for her life 😭😂😂

If my coworkers ask me why I look tired tomorrow I’ll have to tell them that I couldn’t sleep because Ryan was singing Chasing Cars in an Indian accent

This is what Mr. Krabs would have done at Jan. 6

Not sure why I keep getting targeted ads about Billie Eilish presale tickets going on sale tomorrow I literally have an appointment booked on my calendar to buy them you’re not influencing me any further it’s impossible

another creature thats evading taxes by playing dumb

welcome back, O.J. Simpson

gonna do this when I'm 75 and tell people to wear sunscreen 👍🏾

And there I was. 23 years old on a Friday night and asleep.

That’s that Mii espresso

no presidential debates just this and a stopwatch

new political strategy just dropped

Boomers selling their homes for $2 million after buying them in 1969 for 7 raspberries

“I made it through four years at Stanford, I can make it through the next 15 minutes” - Me pushing my limits at a Brazilian Steakhouse

EHDJWKELEJDIEJDKWNDIEKDWJXJWKS x.com/BLONKtw/status…

Trump: (the most insane lie ever) Biden: get a load of this guywuhseisevidlsie

My brother in Christ, a Toyota Camry driven by a senior citizen can do that