Women will “no, exactly” each other into a parallel universe

Just saw a huge spider crawl along the floor and into my cupboard. And I didn’t go into cardiac arrest. Growth.

The only good personalised numberplate I’ve ever seen

I wish I was as fancy as Evelyn’s Barbie voice.

Mouth shaped for mojitos and dry roasted peanuts. Preferably in a foreign country.

I wonder how Joe Exotic’s getting on these days…

Turning into one of these people where “8pm is a little late for me” 😴

Juuuuust as I get into bed, the nearby shop’s alarm goes off. 😮‍💨👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 love that

Every dug in the toon barking now too. Yass.

Honestly, if the bakery section in Lidl was a man… I’d buy him pints n take him up the road.

in case Dog Days Are Over comes on

Every time I get my period it feels like my life is falling apart. This is not sustainable. I’m literally just a girl.

I don’t care how old I am…. Thunder and lightning still scares the shite out of me 😭

New ick: if they like Luke Combs 🤢

It’s only right to post this since it’s officially December now 😂

I just get so fucking depressed in the winter months. Anyone else up for just flying south when it hits October? 🕊️

It makes my heart ache that parents tonight are dealing with every parent’s worst nightmare come true. Utterly fucking horrific. String the cunt up.

If you see a news headline tomorrow saying: “Local mad woman kills fox with a rake.” tomorrow, don’t ask any questions. My rabbits were killed today. And I fucking hate foxes the slimey sleekit bastards.

Think it will just rain tae March 2025 now? 🥱😴