#snoot ift.tt/2NlGWe4

She cut her shoulder yesterday and wouldn’t stop licking it so I made her wear this t shirt 😂 ift.tt/2IISIAp

Anyone know what these are? Aloy snooted them by the creek 🍄 #mushrooms ift.tt/2OapJob

This post brought to you by #patagonia #lagunitas ift.tt/2FntDpL

Cool story bro. bit.ly/2INsCum

Dear HBO. You seem to be confused. I didn’t watch this shit for nine straight years because I was excited about the zombies and dragons finally NOT being in the show. Sincerely Lizzie. #gameofthrones bit.ly/2J26wVM

They’re silly ift.tt/2JvrnyO

Food rainbow courtesy of @jmhope58 🌈 ift.tt/2JB34kp

Dog City. Population: a bunch. ift.tt/2LQM5fl

We did a thing... . . For those that don’t know, @trev_hope and I have been scheming for the past 5 years to buy a boat, live on it, and sail it around the world. Today we executed phase 1 of that plan. We will be in Santa Cruz harbor for the next year, … ift.tt/30GSRZ7

Me: man, Bill Hader with some beard would be sexy af Bill Hader: *makes Barry* Me: 💦

Me: *slips on shoes with the stealth of a ninja so I can take the garbage out* Dog: WALK NOW?!?!?!?!

Ooooh Kendall gonna do some illegal drugs with that girl

Dear Safeway Get your shit together Cheers, Humanity

I wish it was as easy to go running in the morning as it is to watch a YouTube video about the benefits of running in the morning.

How comes there’s not more pop songs written about how good it feels to have a clean house.

I told my dad Trump has COVID. He said “amazing how it can jump species so easily.” #burn

I’m SO excited to be signing with Amy Collins of Talcott Notch Literary Agency! 🎉 Amy will be pitching my latest sci-fantasy project to trad houses this year! I’m SUPER excited for this next step and so grateful to Amy for being a believer in my work! 🔥🔥🔥

People always say “write what you know.” But everybody out here writing about dragons. #writerslife #author #indieauthor #publishing