5yo: Mommy, did you buy this house? Me: Yes. 5yo: (after some contemplation) Do you have any change?

I have this problem where I always make way too much food when I’m hosting and everybody knows it and no one actually ever intervenes

Honestly I love flat earth as a conspiracy. It’s dumb, it’s low-stakes, it’s probably mostly not hurting anyone. I look forward to being told how wrong I am in the replies

I became infertile and immediately developed a plant obsession. Never kept a single plant alive in 36 years and now I’ve grown dianthus from seed and have a pruning schedule.

oh cool I get it now

It is too a word! Damn you, Sam Ezersky!!!!

I love when lil bunnies scream and you can see their staple remover teeth

Oh you want to change plans? Do something completely different than the logistics I’ve envisioned & as such cemented in my head? Sure that’s fine. I can be normal about that. Please excuse me for 10 minutes. If you hear screaming it is unrelated

I really need the cicada in my backyard to get a girlfriend, this noise is driving me insane

Nothing like a multi-car accident right outside of your bedroom window to start off a Monday

I finally got a SAD lamp and I’m ready for this to fix every problem I’ve ever had