I don't know you. Why are we talking about dicks... at the fudge shop? I asked you for fudge. Your job is to give me fudge. At no point in your job description is there anything about you talking about.. Jewish penises. Or dildos.

I'll kiss you. On the mouth.

L-A C-R-O-I-X, that's La Croix! But people fuckin' wanna be like "oh, no, it's La Croi" and I'm like.. fuckin' just call it La Croyx then! If you're gonna do it wrong. If you're gonna say it wrong! And I say "La Croix" and people are like "F*ggot!" and I'm just like FUCK YOU!

Is Jigsaw a magic puppet with no dick?

CD: Easier than hormone therapy. Well, not easier. It's gonna be excruciatingly painful, but the results you can't argue. WW: It's gonna be quicker. CD: It's gonna be overnight. WW: If I could eat this beetle, I would. CD: You're gonna be beautiful after this beetle.

I made a very angry Instagram story this morning 'cause I got a bagel with cream cheese and the bagel was piping hot. And it makes me furious. I fucking hate hot bagels. There are bagel shops out there that will proudly proclaim "Hot bagels sold here!" FUCK you. How dare you.

WW: Who intentionally likes a video like that? CD: Fucking chads, dude. Fucking kings. WW: You know, this person didn't seem to agree 'cause based on the general cadence of his response to me having liked it, I was not a king in that moment. I was a horny sub who let it slip.

You know how when you hold a chicken and move it around its head stays in the same place? Will's doing this little kind of dance with his shoulders and it's crazy because his head is perfectly level. His body's moving up and down but his head's staying in the same place.

You guys heard about porn? It's fucking sick!

Fucking DATE me. BYE! ... Oh, it didn't stop. How do I make it stop? I thought you just had to press stop but it's not stopping. What do I do.

WW: Alright, pump the brakes, Chris. I give you the pass, you have my full permission to crack a joke now again, I'm comfortable with it... but CREAM CHEESE CUM? CD: Jewish people cum normal, Chris. WW: We cum semen and blood just like everybody else!

WW: I've been told I'm really good I've been told I'm really really good. I've been told I'm REALLY good. CD: What an insane thing to say to someone. People say that! I'm so good and I need you to know that because if you didn't there would be no reason for you to fuck me.

Maybe that would help. If you could give me something to really cry about, you know? If you could like, I don't know, teach me a lesson.

WW: Uh, what did the triangle say to the circle? CD: I don't know... WW: "You're so pointless!" CD: Dude, that's so good. That's so good, dude.

Jokes on you, I've been playing on very easy mode with the aggressiveness turned way down, so... I'm not even that fucking good at it, okay? Who's the virgin NOW, Will?

As soon as I started thinking about putting YOUR diapers on MY penis, it all unraveled.

Sir, it's two PM. I just survived your space needle. And I wanna go see some shrunken heads with my girlfriend. I don't need to hear your theories about circumcision right now, sir. Please serve the child behind me in line.

CD: I don't know. Y'all fucking love The Lego Movie so maybe you're still sexist actually. WW: ... For liking The Lego Movie? CD: No, for not liking Barbie.

That bird is moments away from doing a 9/11.

WW: I am a WARRIOR! CD: I'm- I'm a... I'm a healer. I'm a fucking medicine woman. WW: Alright. Fine. Fucking... don't try and match my energy. CD: HAAA!!! WW: Whoa- that hurt so much because I'm wearing headphones. CD: See, that's why I don't do it. I'm too strong.