Start with a $100,000 budget

*Deal dies*

Me: “I should probably get some rest, it’s been an insane week at work”

Me later that night in a West Village dive bar:

When the quiet analyst finally learns to push back on the brown-nosing post MBA associates

Classic Deloitte cringe

Savage move

Cancer didn’t do it

POV: you’re at a diversity event and the investment banking leadership team is telling you how much they value diversity

Grant Cardone is an absolute dunce

It’s not complicated. The simple answer is no

The one where you throw the paddle into a trashcan and play a real sport

Lmao

Miami is just latino Dubai

Just stared straight into the sun for 0.01 seconds and now I can’t see shit

Staring at the eclipse?

No thanks, I’ll be staring at excel and creating shareholder value.

“What’s up dude! Hope you had a great weekend. Bro I’m so hungover, brunch yesterday was insane. We ended up talking to two chicks for a while, didn’t smash but got their numbers. What about you?”

The burnt out analyst who has been grinding in the office the past 36 hours:

Stare at an eclipse for 10 minutes straight or work on three sell-side M&A deals simultaneously?

Me:

“Watching the eclipse? No, I’ll be dialed into the firm-wide town hall meeting at that time. It’s important to understand how our company did in Q1 and what initiatives our CEO has planned for the back half of the year”

An accountant would be more useful