I really don't care. Do u? x.com/presssec/statu…

I don't know why this made me laugh so hard. Maybe it's the hurricane fatigue setting in already. h/t m i t h x.com/ManInTheHoody/…

I just voted for Malachi Flynn for the Wendy’s #WoodenAward. Cast your vote here! wendys.com/Malachi-Flynn

10,000 retweets and we'll bring the churro guy back to Petco Park with us.

Can’t hurt. #Padres

It helped last night, so I did it again. #Padres

Since its #NationalHatDay, we're giving away new 2016 hats to two lucky winners. Simply RT to enter!

Today is #PenguinAwarenessDay -- here's why you should care. cnn.it/1Qdr1cJ

Popcorn buckets?? Really?? #IowaCaucus

Aztecs, RT this post for your chance to win a VIP package, which includes two tickets and two nights of lodging, to the SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl!

Welcoming San Diego State Aztecs to the #HighRollerVegas with SDSU Cheer team and SDSU Marching Aztecs 🏈

SNL writers during Sean Spicer presser.

It would be a shame if #RESISTANCE crashed this rally. Don't do that. And definitely don't retweet this. x.com/realDonaldTrum…

the future has arrived #resist

This is funnier than any joke I will ever write. newyorker.com/news/ryan-lizz…

If you drive past horses and don’t say “horses” you’re a psychopath

Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the The New Yorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight.