"Armchair linguistics is a valid scientific method."

"if you just keep talking and you keep embedding clauses, you will eventually die."

"So verbs from the semantic field of murder are pretty interesting."

“This usage is so atypical that it sounds like fanfiction”

"For [k] and [ʔ] you have to crawl down the speaker’s throat, which is not a good idea"

“Time flies when you're talking about velar lateral ejective affricates”

“Not all adjuncts are created equally”

“I don’t think he had a poetic or metrical agenda, because he was a plumber writing a book to teach other plumbers how to do do plumbing”

“They can say this because the other speaker knows the moon exists. This is not new or surprising information.”

"Everything you were taught about language at school? Yeah, it’s wrong”

"A noun-y thing is a thing-y thing, and a verb-y thing is an event-y thing"

"The purpose of Morphosyntax II is to inoculate you against as many weird structures as possible"

"No more ambiguity – everybody loves Beyoncé."

"I have a Masters in Latin. Don’t ask me why"

"Asking a linguist how many languages they speak is like asking a doctor how many diseases they have"

"If you were going to christen a new ship and some rando came up and knocked you over and said “I hereby christen this ship the USS Go Fuck Yourself" you wouldn't say "dangit, now we have to call it that forever!"

Hear something wild at #nwav50, #cogsci2022, #XPrag, #signcafe2, or any other recent conferences? Maybe you’re a first-year Ling student whose intro class has gotten a bit absurd? We want to share the love and humor! Send us your best quotes! tinyurl.com/LingProfsSay

"What’s your glottis doing?"