I need there to be an elevator back space button. I often press the wrong button and I gotta take the ride of shame as the doors ding open and closed on the floor I accidentally pushed.. praying that no one is waiting on the other side wondering why I didn’t get off..

Saying Happy Christmas instead feels like a flex

Maybe it’s just me but chocolate coins are extra good this year.

You feel homemade bread in your nose when you smell it, in your hands when you knead it and in your heart when you eat it.

Oh my gosh.... I use to work EIGHT hours a day?!?!!! What? How did I do that. I can barely handle a three hour shift once every two weeks. The adjustment of getting back to normal work hours is gonna be hard.

Why does drinking cold water out of a mug taste bad?

Bring back sticker books.

Why did we color a map of Canada like every year in school? Or is that just me thinking that... I feel like we focused on that way too much haha

Honestly thank goodness for the people in charge of double checking and making sure each package of instant ramen comes with the flavour powder... can you imagine opening one to find nothing but noodles?! Heart breaking

Things that stress me out: when the instructions say flip fries half way through cooking. I actually don’t know how to do that. I just use the spatual and pick some up...and put em back down.Give the tray a little shake and back in they go. How do you flip em?! I don’t understand

“You’d be a great TSA agent” is my new insult.

I should probably eat a vegetable some time soon.

Look. Working out and eating healthy is always gonna be an option... but that cake only has about two more days of freshness left before it dries out so I’m gonna focus on the more pressing matter at hand, thankyouverymuch.

Its 2006 and you just used the land line to call a friend over to sit in your room to listen to the new jojo cd and flip through a tiger-beat magazine and do the quizzes together. Later you will go for a walk to get slushies and candy at the gas station. Life is good.

Snickers marketing ploy is “eat us when you’re literally so hungry that you’re unhidnged” and I feel like that could gives us a misconception of how good they actually taste. Like I still like them, I’m just saying, I see what you’re doing. SNICKERS #exposed

It’s that time of year again. When your mom hides the bag of mini eggs in the “secret hiding place” that “non of the kids know about” and we have “no idea where they keep disappearing to”. Wink wink.

Me trying to summon up my powers for foreseeing the future when A guest asks me how cold it would be on the patio three hours from now

I’m scared to go to work today…

All I want is a little fluffy orange kitten.

I want a pet hamster 🐹