Need a racing number decal on the side of my work van

Pulling up to the airport for the 1000th time making sure I know the difference between arrivals and departures

Time to let loose after a long week. Happy Friday lads

Top 10 Beers Ranked: 1.Après-ski beer 2.Ballpark beer 3.Airport beer 4.Golf beer 5.Post-work beer 6.Concert beer 7.Lake beer 8.Tailgate beer 9.Beach beer 10.Bonfire beer

unreal burn from my own mother (unintentional)

Cool ranch seasoning 🥰

Work happy hour starts at 4pm today

🤔

Friend group is talking about house of dragon again

Entering my margarita character arc

can’t wait to read a book for the first time in forever on the beach and trace the words with my finger in front of my girlfriend’s family

I fear this week’s Nickleback binge may have detrimental effects on my spotify wrapped

Homeless man on the corner staring at me to do something like I’m not $30 away from being him

BRING US TEPPER’S HEAD!

She want me at sunrise, call that early bird getting the worm

Chat, I cannot wait to gamble this weekend

“Hey lilcookouttray, it’s me Kamala..”

Sir, Ozempic has hit Kathy Bates

Despite the adversity we came out in the green

Gun to my head, still won’t switch to google maps