If she only knew how much of a whiny little bitch you are, you wouldn't get this much attention. Enjoy it while it lasts.

It's about time I bought a flask. Some nights I could use a whiskey IV drip.

I hate being single. But at least when you're single you don't have to feel guilty for not caring about anyone else's feelings.

I just want to have nasty, dirty, careless sex with someone I won't remember in 5 years. Is that so wrong? Feelings make me nauseous

Single desperate guys appreciate beauty and talent. Spoiled guys appreciate a good dick sucking and that's about it. I could be a Fleshlight

Being in love is like being mentally ill.

Lose your love, lose your mind.

The dating situation for my ex vs my dating situation is a great example of feast and famine.

Being single is kind of nice though, cause it's one less person left to lose. He's already gone.

Really great for you that you're cool and attractive enough to already be dating again. Like, really, amazing. Gonna mail you a cookie.

It's a fucking wasteland out here. Apparently I was asleep and the zombie apocalypse happened but only affected guys' brains

I'm gonna work out & eat right and look amazing just long enough to get a hot boyfriend, then it's right back to the couch and the Cheetos.

You can't fuck my dude and get away with it. There will be repercussions.

And he's gonna get his, too.

Overly tattooed guys have overly developed emotions. Totally bitchmade. Get a tissue. Shut the fuck up. Buy a tattoo gun. Nerd.

But if he ever caught me treating him like I do all the others he wouldn't know what to do...Spoiled as shit.

Your Tinder profile didn't say you'd show up wearing basketball shorts.

So many fuckbois, so few semi-automatic weapons.

I wish my vagina was enchanted and only opened at true love's kiss

I just really need these guys to do better. Please. Begging