The Cue Card Scene From Love Actually But He Bumps Into his Mate On The Way

Only seven more lateral flows till Christmas 😊🎅

You say that it’s fucked that gingerbread men live in gingerbread houses, but to a gingerbread person, gingerbread is as inscrutable and fundamental as carbon. The people and homes are no more alike than humans are to diamonds. Only we, their gods and creators, can see the horror

The opposite of hangry, I am now discovering, is resent-full

Things my mum has apologised for since I've been home for Christmas: there being "only" two items in my stocking (I'm 30), needing the toilet during a film, the cake tin not being springform, being in the kitchen as she prepared Christmas dinner, being awake before 9am, coughing

The paternal urge to ask your child to google something they have no interest in finding out

drill gang video application

people write "good luck on your next adventure" in work leaving cards when the adventure in question is being senior admin officer at a near-identical organisation

Heartbreaking news about VAULT for so many people, but especially the many performers who were going to debut their first ever shows at the festival. If you're wondering where to look next, I'm running a bursary Brighton Fringe (1/2)

The most humanising and relatable thing Keir Starmer has ever done is get bored and zone out as Keir Starmer is speaking

Marcelo Bielsa always looks like a recently divorced man who’s inevitable mental breakdown has finally been triggered by his shopping bag splitting and a jar of dolmio smashing in the ASDA parking lot #WHULEE

“This has got to be the end for Boris Johnson” - ancient British proverb

🐙🖊️

The biggest tell that it's a robot is that it's a man expressing emotions am i right ladies

I guess David Moyes is more of a dog man #WHUWAT

Any updates on the outage in SE5 Virgin Media ❤️? It’s been almost three weeks with no broadband and the estimated date for the fix just keeps getting pushed back 😔

“Showing that we politicians are normal human beings is actually really important.” Are you…are you sure you’re the right person for that job?

International stand up comedy this Thursday, feat. Larry Dean, David Morgan, Thor Stenhaug, #SamiraBanks, Louis George, and #PeteGionis as MC. Tickets: comedycarnival.co.uk/leicester-squa… Doors 7pm - 8pm. Show 8pm - 10:15pm.